Episode 34: It Girl Needs A Sip Girl
Hey loves,
Spending time with yourself is just as important as spending time with your loved ones. As a new mom, taking time for yourself is not only beneficial for yourself but it’s also beneficial for your baby as well. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, how could you possibly take care of a baby? Remember to set a little time aside for your wants and needs. Your baby will thank you for it.
With Love,
Loving Myself Enough To Give Myself A Break
The Letter
Hey Love,
I’m a 25 year old mom and have been struggling to find Me Time. I had my baby 7 months ago and had been stuck in the house for about 12 months because my pregnancy was high risk. Prior to getting pregnant, I was THE IT GIRL. I was a bottle girl and was always out with my friends, I was living it up. I got into a serious relationship and one thing let to another and boom I was pregnant.
I was happy and sad at the same time. I knew that I would have to give up some of my free time because being a parent is a full time job. When I told my boyfriend I was pregnant, he was very excited. This would be both of our first child and we were thrilled. We moved into a place together and spent every waking moment together.He would cook for me everyday and rub my feet every night. He catered to my every want and need. I would still go to work because I wasn’t showing that much. I made very good money being a bottle girl.
Fast forward to my third trimester, I got some disturbing news about our baby and was forced to go on bed rest. I had to stop working as a bottle girl because I would be on my feet a lot which was not good for the baby so I took a huge pay cut so instead I got a job working from home but the money was no where near the same. I had our baby a month and a half early and had to go back and forth to the NICU to breastfeed her for about a month. Our baby finally came home and he seemed very interested in helping with her. I would be able to pump and rest while he took care of her at night. But recently, there has been a shift in his mood. He hardly helps with the baby and stays out all night. I told him I wanted to go to one of my friends birthday dinners and maybe a club after because I’d been stuck in the house for so long and he immediately got an attitude.
He made me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with other adults. I have always been a social butterfly so it’s tough and really taxing on my mental health that I have been in the house for so long without really spending time with anyone else. Some of my friends wanted to come over but because of covid and our baby girl’s health, he said he didn’t want anyone at the house which I completely understand but, I can’t be stuck in these four walls forever.
I do feel guilty for wanting to spend adult time and have adult conversations with other people. I feel like this is weighing heavy on my postpartum and I don’t want to slip into a further depression. How do I tell my man I need some space and some Me time and want to get back into the real world?
Signed,
It Girl Needs A Sip Girl
Tips + Tricks
How To Balance Your Home Life + Social Life After Having A Child
Give yourself space and time to feel like you again.
Spend time with your friends.
Communicate with your spouse your expectations, wants and needs so there is no confusion when you take action.
If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you properly take care of your baby? Self care is the best care.
You need to have a sense of individuality because when you get into a relationship, you can easily become just “so and so’s” girlfriend and when you become you can easily become just “so and so’s” mom. Losing yourself is the quickest way to self destruct.
Speak to someone who has been through your situation. If you don’t have someone like that in your life, speak with a therapist. Trust me, it helps.
Spend quality time with your spouse.
To hear my advice to this Gentle Giant, be sure to check out the podcast episode linked below for your convenience or my YouTube channel for a video version of this episode. Also, don’t forget to leave your own advice for this Gentle Giant in the comments down below.
Listen to the full episode below.
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