Hey Loves,
Too many young women are suffering in silence because they aren't getting the love the desire from their mothers when they are younger causing them to suffer emotionally, mentally and sometimes even physically. This episode is from a young lady on Twitter who speaks about the trauma and turmoil she has had to endure due to her mother and family's lack of love and support. Remember, you are good enough and never give some the power to make you believe you are not.
With Love,
You Are Stronger Than You Know
The Twitter Thread
Let this be a sign to the oldest daughters, Retire. My 25 year old brother who lived with me, rent free, bill free, thought it was the send of that he would give me at 11pm last night because I wasn’t renewing the tenancy and he would have to be an adult. I hand back the keys in 3 hours. I gave him and my youngest brother, 5 months notice. My youngest left in January and this 25 year old decided to leave last night.The only thing he had to deal with was finishing his final year at Uni. What I had to deal with? I’ll vent.
I went in therapy processing childhood and sexual trauma, anxiety constantly being triggered, coming out, and dealing with a homophobic, manipulative mother balancing a full time job and having three financial dependents ages 22, 25, and 50+ and apparently, I’m not normal. I’m complaining.
I had to send a text to them about what needed to be cleaned in the house because they didn’t seem to see the dirt building up in the bathtubs or dust building up in the carpet. Their money isn’t tied to this house so why should they care?
I took on the responsibility of coming back to England after getting a new job and they were about to get evicted. I let them know what my triggers were, I offered alternative routes and they agreed that living with me would be good and convinced me that they had changed and were mature. Setting boundaries as an adult and only daughter was received with distress. Holding them to account bought an attitude of victimization without seeing things from my perspective or trauma. They don’t see me as a person. They see me as someone less than that.
I have never been protected in my past life. I hadn’t had any male role models growing up. The narcissism runs deep. I’m thankful to have the luxury of going to therapy and removing the lenses that had been placed on me. I’m still financially supporting my mother even though she has tried to get pastors to pray the gay out of my spirit, called me an abomination and more. She also and always have said that no one will love me more than my mother. She is wrong.
I love myself more than she loves me and I also love her more. Blood families always tell you to keep things like this within the family but I have snapped. If I’m crazy for it then call me crazy. I hope that with time, you go to therapy unpack all the trauma we went through together and indiviually. I hope you realize just how that has impacted you as a person. How you treat yourself and how you treat women. I will get this house ready, I will get it clean and I will spend the night at the Hilton. I will catch my flight back to the US tomorrow and I will live my life as I always have.
I have given 31 years of my life mentally, emotionally, and on many occasions, financially. I am DONE!
Parent’s, don’t raise your daughters to be mini versions of you; clean up after men, hug people they don’t want to hug, constantly let things go and not know how to communicate or have boundaries. They will only end up in therapy like me and resenting you. Love your daughters existence but see them as individuals. Your daughters, your children even are not suppose to validate your dreams and are not suppose to be responsible for your happiness. If you feel your children should live a life in a way you chose, take on responsibly in the home rather than discovering themselves, then trauma and therapy awaits them. So respectfully, go to therapy before having children.
Another thing, if you call your children your bestfriend, unpack that. Unpack what it means because as a child, I should not have been giving marriage advice at 14 in a toxic marriage and I should not be breaking up fights between two married adults at the age of 10. My vent is over now, I’m trying to find my joy and my peace in the few hours I have before the inventory clerk arrives and my retirement begins.
I wish nothing but love and happiness to my siblings. I hope you all heal and you’ll be doing that without having access to me.
Listen to the full episode below.
